restless
My heart is restless until it rests in You, O GOD
— a quote from the Church Father Augustine of Hippo (354-430). Recently, significant problems arose that could threaten my economic existence. At the same time, a friend told me about serious health issues in his family. Life can shake us in many ways.
I have a young colleague from Ukraine, 20 years old, who lives calmly and balanced despite all adversities. After working eight hours, he still studies long hours at the university. In his first week, he told me that his uncle was shot by Russian soldiers while tending to his apple trees in the garden. My situation doesn’t compare to his life. Yet, he remains calm, living in the here and now. When I asked him how he keeps his peace, he replied, “Frank, I live in the moment and don’t know what the next one will bring. I am content and at peace in the here and now.”
My colleague has a relationship with GOD that is very important to him. He seldom goes to church, maybe only at Christmas with his family. He speaks little about his faith, yet he radiates calmness, even when bombs and missiles fall in his country. This left a deep impression on me.
Problems can strike our lives as well. I’ve learned that hustle and panic bring no solutions. Only when I turn off my restlessness do problems become challenges. How? I find peace before GOD and give him my worries. I trust that GOD gives me the strength to solve the problems or helps me accept what I cannot change. I have developed a kind of ritual for this: I use singing bowls to find stillness and enter prayer. This practice is no magic fix for problems, but it helps me find calm.
Another major event in my life was the loss of 14 young people during my time in the ghetto in Bulgaria — fates that remain incomprehensible to this day. These profound experiences teach me that life is unpredictable and often painful. Yet, all these challenges have nothing to do with GOD. We humans chose to live independently. This distance from GOD, called „sin“ in the Bible, is the cause of much suffering and is passed down like an inheritance.
For me, the path to peace began when I gave my life to GOD and GOD became alive within me. Now I consciously let go and give him my life every day. I have found methods that help me, like using the singing bowl, taking walks in the forest, or simply pausing. The key is not to be overwhelmed by hustle, stress, and fear. When I feel fear, I acknowledge it and give it to GOD. Then I try to do everything within my power. GOD grants me the strength to accept life as it is.
Every morning and evening, I surrender my life to GOD and receive it back as he deems right.